It’s likely that this time next year, you’ll be doing the same things.
Changing habits is hard
“We try to change the wrong thing”
“We try to change them in the wrong way”
There are three aspects of habits.
Outcomes are our results – These are the goals you set
Process is changing the habits, systems and ways we do things.
Identity is changing who you are – Beliefs, self image, world view, assumptions, bias’s. What do I want to achieve or do isn’t the question. It’s who do I want to become.
What do I want to no longer identify as? Saying no thanks, I don’t eat sugar, or no thanks, I’m on a keto diet. Being bored in the afternoon when demotivated… or believing I’m a motivated person who is excited by trying something NEW in the afternoon? Believing I act as a person who would at a healthy weight, or an overweight person trying to get smaller?
Behind every set of actions is a set of beliefs. Take pride in caring for the individual you want to be who has those beliefs and actions.
True behaviour change is IDENTITY CHANGE
It was only last year that I, Hannah, set out to read 50 books last year. I accidentally became a reader because I fell in love with it. What else do I want to fall in love with?
“Once a person believes in a particular aspect of their identity, they are more likely to act in alignment with that belief.”
Make an “I am…” List
- I am a reader
- I am a voter
- I am a loving mum
- I am financially literate
- I am tidy
- I am a a comfortable minimalist
- I am a home cook
Or…
- “I am terrible with directions”?
- I am an angry mum
- “I’m not a morning person”
- “I hate…”
- “I don’t like confrontation so I won’t…”
- “I don’t like phone calls so I put off…”
- “I’m insecure so I don’t…”
Where did my world views and beliefs and resulting actions come from?
THERE IS A TWO STEP PROCESS TO CHANGING YOUR IDENTITY
It emerges from your habits.
I fold my washing when it comes in because I’m organised.
I put things away because I’m tidy.
I answer emails when they come in because I am confident.
I am kind to my children because I am a loving mother.
I believe my current identity because I have PROOF of it.
I am messy – Look at my house.
I’m disorganised – look at my emails!
I’m a workaholic – I don’t organise my business life enough to get offline enough.
I am an unhealthy eater – Because I eat unhealthily many days.
What do I WANT to be? Create a list. I don’t have to become them all immediately – But I can choose some to BECOME. (Use the table to think through who YOU want to be).
“Simple two step process… Decide who you want to be… Prove it with small wins”.
It’s helpful to work backwards from your goal. I want to run a marathon? What sort of person runs a marathon?… I want to earn more money? What sort of person do I need to be to earn more money?…. I want to save money? What sort of person saves money?
In the book he shares that someone lost 100lb by saying “What could a healthy person do?” All day long. My question is what would an organised, healthy, kind, happy, motivated person do all day?
THE REAL REASON HABITS MATTER
The true question is “Are you becoming the type of person you want to become?”? It’s not what, or how or even why, but WHO.
It’s not about “having something… but… becoming someone.”
Go back to the intro
Read Chapter Three soon